Shakti perspectives: Anonymous Melbourne Aus.
When you’re awake at 3am even though you’ve got work the next day. When all you want to do is back into your room, even if the house is full of people and laughter. When your family loves you, but all you want to do is run away; and worse, when your family needs you, but all you want to do is run away. When they tell you that you have the potential to achieve extraordinary things, but for you jumping out of bed is the equivalent of climbing the peak at K2.
When you want to get in the car and restart your life where nobody knows you, where you just want to be free from judgement, expectations and people in general.
When you feel that deep sickening pain at the bottom of your stomach when you recall heartbreak; when you want to yell until your voice gets hoarse because you can’t tell your parents you’re still dating her. When you turn to drugs because that’s the only way you know how to numb your thoughts, but it gets worse and the anxiety makes you want to smoke more, until you’re stuck in a destructive cycle of mental health issues and drug abuse. When mental health and drugs are both separate taboos in your community so you have no one to turn to, so you turn to the arts.
Hip Hop saved my life.
I’ll stand by that statement.
Coming from a Muslim family, it has been a constant uphill battle for my parents to come to terms with having a son who pursues music so passionately. But what I would I have done if I couldn’t write my thoughts on a notepad and spit them over a stolen YouTube instrumental?
Music was my escape. My truth. It was my method to cope with all the constant bullshit surrounding me, and the excessive negative thoughts building up in my mind.
Hip Hop saved my life, but so did my family and friends. My support systems have been amazing. Never be too scared to voice your concerns, our parents and siblings are actually much more understanding than we give them credit for.
It took a bit of time submitting to Shakti because I couldn’t think of a positive ending. But like Jay said, maybe it doesn’t need a positive ending.
Maybe this utopia we create in our minds, thinking that one day everything will be peaceful and you will be content and happy is just that, a utopia. Happiness was never the destination - this world is meant to test us and how well you conquer the hurdles all depends on how you react and what energy you put back into the world.
For most of my adult life, I have exuded a negative energy. But maybe, just maybe, there is hope around the corner that I can switch it up and force the positivity out, and if I can so can you.