SHAKTI PERSPECTIVES
Shakti perspectives: Danushi Divyangana
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As a parentified daughter I was always keen to attend to my mother’s emotional needs. I ignored my own needs from a younger age and made “keeping her happy” as my life purpose. While I am immensely grateful for the sacrifices she has made, I had to make the impossible decision of moving away to Melbourne. Which is when everything finally started to make sense. Million miles from home, I got a birds eye view of my life. While it was nerve wracking to realise my reality as a first generation, immigrant psychology student, the stigma made me feel like an imposter to my own culture. Fortunately, I started to build awareness of what I was going through. Although not ideal, I turned to my studies for closure which has been a refreshing journey full of lessons to grow and heal.
Surviving with intergenerational trauma and depression, I found it hard to cope as I kept going. Nevertheless, I succeeded at finding a coping mechanism when I had to create an intervention for myself as an academic task. What turned out to be a self management plan for reducing screen time became an outlet for self expression. I found my identity as a mental health advocate through @psychwithdanushi, where the sole inspiration was based on the dilemma of feeling dissociated from myself.
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Since then, as a form of self care I’ve built a habit of spending time with nature as I’ve found it to be grounding. Be it watching a sunset or having a swim in the ocean, it always does the trick. But most times that’s not possible with my busy schedule, managing work and studies at the same time. So I try to get into my bubble by taking long walks to refresh my thoughts. This sense of awareness has given me the strength to understand my mother’s actions with kindness, which is helping me mend our relationship.
Still, as everybody else I have ups and downs. So I’ve learnt to practise self-acceptance where I would listen to my instincts and just allow myself to feel and process. Emotions are like waves, so I like to tell myself that it always gets better. Understanding what you are experiencing as you go through is a skill that we all require for a fulfilling life. This has fuelled my purpose as a content creator to break the stigma or even attempt cracking it to make it easier for others to heal, than it was for me.
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I started sharing my lived experiences and theoretical knowledge through my content and found a community that resonated with me. While this has been the drive behind my thrive, I am an aspiring psychologist to be. My philosophy is based on culturally sensitive and trauma-informed care, where the priority is on “what happened to you” rather than “what’s wrong with you”. Therefore I believe, the biggest change we need to make as a South Asian community is to start talking about our mental health. The stigma hinders us from being vulnerable with others, as we are being conditioned to think that talking about our mental health is a sign of weakness. Yet, I strongly believe that opening up is my biggest strength as that is the only way I was able to break-free. Thus, I invite you to do the same!
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